Apartments, Bikes and Grades

Happy days are here again...after nearly one year of living separately, Matt and I have decided to move back in together. It's been a very rough year for both of us in terms of emotional, psychological and fiscal well-being, but we both feel reasonably ready to take this important step.

Despite (or perhaps even because of?) everything that we've been through, Matt and I love each other very much and remain dedicated to the survival and ultimate renewal of our marriage...well, I shouldn't speak for Matt, but I'm guessing he'd agree with me on this (feel free to shoot me down, honey -- I'm sure you're itching to do so anyway ;-P). And then of course there's the plain fact that schlepping back and forth between our respective apartments in Capitol Hill is getting freakin' old!

Anyway, we've picked out a new two-bedroom apartment about a block and a half away from where Matt is currently living -- an excellent location for two downtown commuters without a car, as several major bus lines run close by and there are not one but two grocery stores are within two blocks -- more motivation for me to get my mad-culinary-demon self in the kitchen and rattle some pots and pans, muah-ah-ahhhh! Spicy lasagne for everyone!

The proximity of beautiful Cheesman Park is also a big plus...Matt and I like to go there to walk, talk, look at babies and dogs and roll around on the grass (last night we sprawled out smack-dab in the middle of the park and watched a thunderstorm roll in with accompanying sights, sounds and smells...lovely. And yes, we got back inside before getting too drenched and/or struck by lightning). The apartment building is about average for the area, the apartment itself is quite large and *gasp!* even has a dishwasher, so I think Matt and I will be quite happy there while having enough space to be able to have some alone-time when necessary. All in all it's a pretty copascetic arrangement, which naturally is making us nervous...Matt's had issues with his management company before and we're both leery of being jerked around by these people, but thus far negotiations seem to be progressing in a more orless satisfactory manner. We haven't signed a lease yet but have an appointment to do so at the end of this week; we plan to make the move on Saturday June 10th (and will of course accept any and all offers of strong backs to help us out,*ahem*). Keep your fingers crossed for us, folks!

In other news, Matt and I saved our income tax refund this year and have finally replaced our bikes (which as you may remember were stolen out of our former building [along withall of our neighbors' bikes] about a year and a half ago). We put the bikes to immediate use by pedalling away from the shop and heading out for some breakfast and errands, and this past Sunday saw a long ride of between 12 and 15 miles along the Platte River bike path. We emerged dehydrated, saddle sore and exhausted but otherwise glad that we were both able to make the ride without collapsing (although I nearly did so when we ran out of water -- I've since learned the hard way that not bringing enough water and relying upon the parks system to have the few available water fountains turned on is DUMB). We've mutually decided that these new bikes will be kept inside our new place...no sense tempting fate in Capitol Hill.

Final grades from Spring semester were released late last week...Matt did famously (straight A's, wooo!) and I did marginally (two Cs and a B, poo...), but we're both glad to have the semester behind us and the summer in front of us. It was a rough semester, especially for me, but I am already attempting to gear myself for better performance this Fall. And for some reason that I can't understand, I usually do better in Fall semester anyway...usually.

That's about all for now...here's hoping that some other Fosters will be updating their blogs soon, hint hint... ;-)

Pwah!!!

Oh, how I do love Cat and Girl. I just had to post this one!

A Skeptic on Morality...

Below follows a quote from a book I've been reading lately; Michael Shermer's "Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition and Other Confusions of Our Time". The quote comes from the end of a section on Ayn Rand and her philosophy of Objectivism, but is relevant in a much wider sense...Shermer is a thorough and thoughtful writer, and he does an excellent job of avoiding the nay-saying crank stereotype that many associate with skepticism. At any rate, this quote resonated with me, and as such I thought I would share it.

"Morality is relative to the moral frame of reference. As long as it is understood that morality is a human construction influenced by human cultures, one can be more tolerant of other human belief systems, and thus other humans. But as soon as a group sets itself up as the final moral arbiter of other people's actions, especially when its members believe they have discovered absolute standards of right and wrong, it marks the beginning of the end of tolerance, and thus reason and rationality. It is this characteristic more than any other that makes a cult, religion, a nation, or any other group dangerous to individual freedom."

Excerpt from The Motherhood Manifesto

With Mother's Day fast approaching, I find myself thinking about the lives of all of the mothers I know -- older, younger, expectant moms, future moms, and all declensions of the word "mom" in between. Motherhood is often said to be the most important job in the world, and it's hard to argue that point given the tremendous responsibility that comes with the position. But how much is motherhood truly valued in our society...especially when it comes to mothers in the workplace?

I read the following excerpt from The Motherhood Manifesto, and it really struck a chord with me. Though I may not have any children of my own (yet), my own mother was a working mom who spent some time as a divorcee, and it shed some light on what kind of discrimination and degradation that mothers (especially unwed mothers) can experience in the workplace.

On a hot, humid August day, at an interview for a legal secretary position in a one-story brick building, Kiki sat down in a hard wooden chair to face a middle-aged attorney ensconced behind a mahogany desk. His framed diplomas lined the walls, and legal books filled the shelves behind him. Kiki remembers the attorney clearly, even his general height at 5'10" and the color of his light brown hair. The interaction was significant enough to remain seared in her mind's eye a decade later. "The first question the attorney asked me when I came in for the interview was, 'Are you married?' The second was, 'Do you have children?'"

It was the eleventh job interview in which she'd been asked the very same questions since moving to Pennsylvania. After answering eleven times that she wasn't married, and that yes indeed, she was a mother of two, Kiki began to understand why her job search was taking so long.

She decided to address the issue head on this time. "I asked him how those questions were relevant to the job, and he said my hourly wage would be determined by my marital and motherhood status." Kiki then asked the next obvious question: "How do you figure out an hourly wage based on these questions?"

His response was as candid as it was horrifying. "He said if you don't have a husband and have children, then I pay less per hour because I have to pay benefits for the entire family." The attorney noted that a married woman's husband usually had health insurance to cover the kids, and since Kiki didn't have a husband, he "didn't want to get stuck with the bill for my children's health coverage."

It was the first time Kiki pushed for an explanation, and she was appalled by the answer. "I said to him, 'You mean to tell me that if I am doing the exact same work, typing the same exact subpoena as a coworker, you're going to pay me less because I have no husband and have kids?' And he very smugly told me, 'Yes, absolutely.'"

He couldn't do that, it was illegal, Kiki wondered, wasn't it? The attorney countered that it was perfectly legal—and as an attorney, he ought to know. He invited Kiki to check out the law herself and then ushered her out the door (without a job, of course).

Furious, Kiki went straight home and called the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission. She found out that the lawyer was right. The questions were legal, as was paying a single mother less than other applicants. Pennsylvania, like scores of states, does not have state employment laws that protect mothers.

The sad truth is that Kiki isn't struggling alone. Recent Cornell University research by Dr. Shelley Correll confirmed what many American women are finding: Mothers are 44 percent less likely to be hired than non-mothers who have the same résumé, experience, and qualifications; and mothers are offered significantly lower starting pay. Study participants offered non-mothers an average of $11,000 more than mothers for the same high salaried job as equally qualified non-mothers.

Dr. Shelley Correll's groundbreaking research released in 2005 is a compelling addition to the long line of studies that explore the roots of this maternal wage gap. This study, like others, also found that the wage gap wasn't linked to self-limiting factors that might cause a wage gap, like mothers taking more time off to care for children, but in actuality is fairly straightforward discrimination. In other words, it's not mothers' "fault" they receive less pay.

We need to open a whole new conversation about motherhood in the twenty-first century by illuminating the universal needs of America's mothers and spelling out concrete solutions that will provide families—whether rich, poor, or middle class—with real relief.